“Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing.”
The former head of my residential college back in UM once said—non-verbatim—that our rooms here should only serve one purpose for us: To sleep, to rest, to rejuvenate. Everything else, we should incentivise ourselves to leave the room and go out there as much as we can. Explore, socialise and live every moment of our finite time as a student to the fullest. Just like what the famous slogan says, “You only live once”: You only live as a student once.
I’ve long bid my farewell and moved on from that phase of my life (even though it still felt like it was just yesterday that I graduated). However, what the principal told everyone that night remained relevant to this day.
When Azri Walter a.k.a. discount version of Andrew Tate went viral for his video promoting the controversial henyak sampai lunyai (HSL) mentality, especially among youths, it sparked a heated online debate between a clash of two principles: work-life balance vs. henyak sampai lunyai.
The dissenting opinions against the HSL mindset often reference a video made by Kevin Zahari who talks about the regret felt by those who’ve already fulfilled their dreams of being successful for not spending enough time with their families. How 20 years from now, the only people who will remember that you worked late are your kids. Time spent with our loved ones far triumphs the need for money. There’s also the argument to be made about the effect that this mindset has towards one’s health—both physical and mental. Yes, you only live once. But how well you live also hinges upon how well you took care of your body and mind.
“The graveyard is full of 'irreplaceable' and 'important' people.”
“Work to live, not live to work.”
Proponents of HSL meanwhile argue that what both Kevin and Azri said are mutually exclusive i.e. they apply in different phases of one’s life. When you’re in your 20s, single and in the pink of health, this is the best time to hustle due to the lack of commitments. To work as hard as you can to achieve your dreams and secure a better future for you and your dependents. Providing generational wealth to your family can also be argued to also be a sign of affection. If you never work late, accomplish little, and your family financially struggles, it'll also be your kids that remember. In other words, your 20s are for henyak sampai lunyai. 30s are for you to enjoy your fruits of labor. Work-life balance will come to you when you are ready. Susah dulu, senang kemudian.
“It’s just for the first 10 years, man.”
“You reap what you sow. The more you sow, the more you reap.”
So, what do I think about all of this? Since this is an op-ed after all, where does my opinion lie in this spectrum of how hard one should work?
When I first heard about the HSL buzz, I immediately dismissed it. As a recovering workaholic back during my university days, I’m eternally grateful to be able to work from home full-time, free from the commuting stress and humdrum of city life the majority of my peers would face daily. I get to decide when to work, and where to work, as long as I get the work done (which is usually blazing fast—my teammates can vouch for me).
But during my 3-week Eid and sabbatical leave, I took the time to reevaluate my life standing in the status quo and see how it compares with my peers. Two of my friends work part-time as a tutor to earn extra income. Another serves as a freelance photographer. A few meanwhile don’t stray too far from what they do at work for their odd jobs, and instead, leverage their programming skills for freelance. Working from home all the time means I missed out a lot on the 'real' working experience and lose the opportunities to be closer to my colleagues.
Eventually, I asked myself:
Am I not hustling enough?
Am I slacking too much?
What if when I look back, I regret not working hard enough?
Should I henyak myself until I lunyai?
I thought about working part-time—and my dad endorsed it—but I wasn’t sure I’m ready for it. I gave myself 1 year from the moment I first got employed to gauge my readiness in terms of how well I could manage my time. Well, it’s long past that threshold now, and I’m still undecided.
Since my hobbies are writing and photography, maybe I should leverage them to make a side income. But hobbies may no longer be hobbies when they start earning you money. There’s an added pressure and stress there which risks killing the joy—defeating the purpose of having hobbies in the first place.
After ruminating on this matter for weeks, I’ve come to a conclusion on what I think about the contention.
At the end of the day, you get to define your own success. That’s it, that’s all there is.
If you’re more aligned with HSL and consent to work hard now while you still can, go for it!
Meanwhile, if you resonate more towards striving for a balance between work and living, by all means, have it a go!
What matters most is that you made an informed decision about how to navigate your life, and are aware of all the trade-offs associated with said decision. Not because others are doing it, not because others are expecting you to do it, but because you want it.
Own your decisions and know that your choices have consequences. It's that simple.
I staunchly believe that life is nothing but a series of choices and trade-offs. In fact, there's no such thing as perfection—only trade-offs. Many fundamental choices in life are inter-temporal: they involve trade-offs between sooner and later outcomes.
Do you want an easygoing life? You're free to have it. But it will come with its trade-offs.
Do you want all the riches and success in the world? You're free to pursue them. But they will come with their own set of trade-offs.
Heck, you could settle for a compromise between the two or execute both concurrently, and that's fine too. I believe that a sustainable equation of success does exist with a balanced, healthy work ethic. Chances are that there are far better ways that are more sustainable, less harmful and pernicious to you as an individual in the journey of becoming successful—however, you define it.
Yes, there is value in hard work, but there is also value in learning how to listen to our minds and bodies and understand when we need to pull back. You can give your best, be the best among the best and not deliberately hurt yourself along the way because of it. You can hustle all you want, but don't lose yourself in the hustle.
I'm not for or against work-life balance. I have no issues with what both sides are purporting. In fact, I agree with both. They both make sense to me.
What I object to, however, is having desires that are incompatible with the price you're willing to pay for them. This incompatibility can only lead to the agony of broken expectations in the long term.
Another thing that I oppose is when people sit on a high horse and shove one’s beliefs into other people’s throats. Remember, never impose our beliefs upon anyone and be reductive. You can give your opinions or advice without shitting on other people. For instance, there are those who have to henyak sampai lunyai and work 8-5 daily simply because they have no choice—sole breadwinners, barely can make ends meet. Surely it would be unemphatic for anyone to preach the values of work-life balance to them, right?
At the end of the day, it’s whatever floats your boat best. To each their own.
Ray, signing out.