The Cost of Life

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”

Such are the words and writings of Henry David Thoreau, in which I can relate to. A lot.

This truth that Mr. Thoreau speaks of, is one that we often overlook, miss or forget entirely. It is so foundational to life that we should begin and end every day by thinking and contemplating about it.

In life, there’s nothing that we can do that doesn’t require this exchange. The exchange of time, the universal currency of life itself.

Unlike money, time cannot be replenished. There’s absolutely no way to acquire more time. Time is indeed like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice. What has flowed, shall never pass again. It’s gone. It cannot be replaced nor can it be undone.

Time is relentless, unforgiving and irreversible.

What Thoreau wanted us to understand is that everything we do represents an exchange of a finite amount of life that is available to us. Does this mean we should fret and stress out over ever wasting any precious hours of life? No. As humans living in this temporary dunya, it is inherent upon us to waste time. Just as there are people who waste money, energy, talent and resources.

This is evident in the reminder that Allah SWT has given us in the shortest yet arguably most important surah of all:

“By time. Indeed, mankind is in loss.” [Quran,103:1-2]

Instead, what this means is that we should take it more seriously on how we’re spending and exchanging those precious hours. Quoting J. R. R. Tolkien;

“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

I told you non-existent readers that I relate a lot to Mr. Thoreau’s quote. How so, might you ask?

It all began with a conversation that I had with a mutual. I talked to this person on how I’ve made plenty of sacrifice to get to where I am now. Everything, from faking myself by doing things I don’t like, to burning bridges when it’s no longer feasible and jeopardising my own physical and mental health. The list just goes on and on.

The person responded, telling me that if I loved the way life is now, then surely it is all worth it. And that triggered me.

Do I?
Do I love the current state of my life?
Am I happy with where I am now?

With the amount of life that I’ve exchanged in favour of getting to where I am now, is it really worth it?

I get it. In life, you don’t always get to do what you like. What’s best for you ≠ what you desire. Indeed, Allah doesn’t always give you what you want, but He always gives you what you need and what is best.

While it looked like I’m productive as hell and made the most of my time getting a head start on all things, I can’t help but think that I’m still missing out on life. Those are merely distractions, a facade to hide the troubling truth deep within. The value of success, reputation, respect and fame that I got in exchange of the precious time and energy spent, friends lost and foes made, feel pale in comparison.

I’m starting to slowly realise, how this lifestyle is changing the very core of me and how I see things.

As someone who champions honesty and truth, it is ironic that the biggest lie that I ever told to a person is none other than myself.

Plenty of people confessed to me that they look up to me. How, it’s so cool to be me and to be in my shoes. How, I should be grateful for how far I’ve come in life.

Yet, I can’t help but feel and think otherwise sometimes. And I think you should too.

Don’t be me. Be better than me.

To those reading this, if you feel unhappy with how you’re leading your life, please, take a step back and reflect.

Think deeply, of the cost of life that you paid. And whether it’s truly worth it.