The Economics of Trust
On the social capital we accumulate without realising it, the influence it affords us, and the quiet fear of not living up to the trust we've earned.
Thoughts
Here, I put on my Shakespearean hat and unleash my inner wordsmith to share my insights and experiences and everything in between.
Indignity
To know exactly where this road leads, and still walk down it.
mental-healthpersonal
1 min read
You Have No Enemies, You Say?
Charles Mackay on why having no enemies isn't the compliment it sounds like.
life
2 min read
I'm Begging You: Never Write With A.I.
Bret Stephens on why letting A.I. write for you weakens how you think.
op-ed
5 min read
The Art of Telling Users They're Wrong
Writing the validation rule is the easy part. Knowing when to show the error is the hard part.
engineeringdesign
14 min read
Top Five Regrets of the Dying
What dying patients told a palliative care nurse they regretted, and why four of the five are about doing too little.
life
1 min read
Reconcilliation
They say that reconnecting with the person who hurt you is disrespectful to the version of yourself that suffered.
personalrelationships
2 min read
The Curse of Accessibility
When every idea is only a prompt away, intentionality becomes the scarce resource.
op-ed
8 min read
Things My Twenties Taught Me
I realised that I'm now old enough to answer that question.
life
9 min read
Anatomy of a Resignation
The resignation letter may take only a few minutes to write, but the decision behind it is often months or years in the making.
career
15 min read
Casual
I went looking for proof I could be careless with my own body. What I got instead was proof of exactly how much I'm not.
relationshipspersonal
2 min read
A Letter from Kawaguchiko
A letter left behind for the next wanderer — on solitude, searching, and how much life offers those who keep looking even when they feel lost.
lifetravel
1 min read
The Quiet Grief of Adult Friendship
Somewhere between "Let's catch up soon" and "Sorry, life has been hectic", adult friendship became one of the most emotionally significant and least discussed losses of modern life.
liferelationships
6 min read
The Loneliness of Depth
A reflection on loving deeply in a world that often only stays at the surface.
liferelationships
3 min read
Floater Friend
Friendship, I learned, rarely exists in such absolute forms.
liferelationships
6 min read
God's Favourite Disobedient Child
He still holds my hand, even when I run headfirst into the mess.
personal
5 min read
To Framework or Not to Framework, that is the question
If you were a team lead assigned to a new frontend project, which would you choose and why?
engineeringop-ed
9 min read
Rendering strategies, explained
A compilation of my understanding on different frontend rendering strategies as part of my interview prep
engineering
19 min read
Contradiction
Slowly being torn apart by a condition I didn't ask.
mental-healthpersonal
2 min read
Building itsmeray v6
A behind-the-scenes look at how I rebuilt my personal site from scratch—and the 300+ commits it took to make every pixel, sound, and interaction feel intentional.
engineering
18 min read
Somewhere in the Middle
Do you think you have what it takes to be a senior?
careerengineering
10 min read
Skating on Her Own Terms
Alysa Liu, freedom, and the difference ownership makes.
life
10 min read
Words are Futile Devices
Sufjan Stevens, the man that you are.
personal
4 min read
Conflict Avoided is Conflict Multiplied
I don't like Jordan Peterson, but he's right on this one.
relationshipslifeop-ed
5 min read
Your Commits Aren't Enough
A reflection on why invisible excellence is fragile, and how engineers build durable impact by documenting and sharing their thinking.
engineeringcareer
5 min read
The Best Temporary Person You've Ever Met
I'm not a permanent person in anyone's chapter, but I can assure you I'll be the best temporary person you'll ever meet
relationshipspersonal
6 min read
Workaholism
Is relentless hustle a sign of strength, or a slow surrender of self?
careermental-health
3 min read
At His Doorstep
I went searching for God in the holiest place I knew, only to discover how far away I already felt.
personal
2 min read
Sacrificum
Fi amanillah, bestie.
personal
10 min read
Farewell, Old Friend
Who knew that in exactly one year, I would go from someone you loved dearly to a person you hated the most?
relationshipspersonal
15 min read
Final Prayer
If there’s indeed a merciful God in this world, hear my prayer
personalmental-health
4 min read
"You Loved Too Hard, Ray"
Is there such as thing as loving too hard?
relationshipspersonal
15 min read
The Paradox of Being Taken for Granted
How do we know that we have been taken for granted, or worse—have taken others as a given?
relationships
6 min read
Can I just die?
The title says it all.
mental-healthpersonal
2 min read
Loving Yourself vs. Loving Others
'We love ourselves by loving others.'
relationshipslife
3 min read
Veritas
Does telling the truth set you free?
personal
6 min read
Henyak Sampai Lunyai
To what extent should one dedicate one's life to work?
careerop-ed
7 min read
Confessions of a First-time Employee
The hidden struggle and anecdotal dilemma of becoming a first-time employee
careerpersonal
7 min read
Mata Pena, Mata Pisau
He put pen to page, no longer as a prisoner to the stigma of his affliction, but as a confessional essayist dragging hard emotional truths into the light of recognition.
mental-health
3 min read
RHB Get Your Hack On 2023: How We Hacked Our Way into the Grand Finals
A detailed walkthrough of my experience in participating in RHB's Get Your Hack On 2023 Virtual Hackathon: ASEAN Edition.
engineeringcareer
32 min read
Therapy
My Experience in going for therapy.
mental-healthpersonal
7 min read
Would you work in such a company?
A thought experiment on where you should draw the line on the ethicality of job opportunities.
careerlifeop-ed
6 min read
The 2 Most Dangerous Words in the English Language
There are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'good job.' — Terence Fletcher, Whiplash
careerlifeop-ed
5 min read
"And then what?" — Second-Order Thinking
A mental model on how to be a better decision-maker.
lifeop-ed
5 min read
Self Compartmentalisation
A psychological concept of mentally separate conflicting thoughts, emotions, or experiences depending on the occasion.
mental-health
3 min read
Six Domains of Self Care
My reader's digest on this interesting article related to self-care
mental-healthlife
5 min read
Philophobia
Will I ever be able to love someone?
relationshipsmental-health
7 min read
LEDV: Tips on Career Progression
A summary of a takeaway I got from my 1-on-1 session with my team lead.
career
3 min read
Dear Me
Have you ever wondered, what if you’re able to meet up with your younger self?
personal
11 min read
Identity Crisis
Who are you, Ray?
personalmental-health
5 min read
Final Year Project (FYP) 101: Pre-FYP Preparation
A comprehensive guide and walkthrough of my Final Year Project (FYP) experience for the past 2 semesters as a Software Engineering student.
engineeringcareer
34 min read
The Free Lunch is Over
I feel like I’m stripping myself of my dignity, bit by bit.
mental-health
4 min read
Limits
What scares me is the day where my limit is reached and can no longer be extended.
mental-health
2 min read
Ambivalence
A personal write-up on handling ambivalence or conflict of emotions: being genuinely happy for others while pushing past your personal setbacks.
mental-healthpersonal
3 min read
Hackathon: A First-Timer Experience
Detailed look into arguably one of the wildest roller-coaster rides of my entire student life: My first-time experience in joining hackathon!
engineeringcareer
25 min read
Opportunity Cost
My letter to my former roommate Arief on opportunity costs of our decisions.
life
8 min read
2020
A year so momentous they named it twice.
personalmental-health
3 min read
Amanah
Everyone can learn and strive to be a leader, but should everyone be one?
careerlifeop-ed
4 min read
Ray v. Workaholism
You should work to live, not live to work.
careerpersonal
12 min read
I struggle and emerge
Here’s to us, struggling and emerging together.
mental-health
3 min read
The Fall of Icarus
We all have, and are given, wings to fly on and it is our choice on what to do with them.
life
6 min read
Internship Application Experience
To be honest, I thought it would be easier for me.
personal
2 min read
Empathy
To be honest, I thought it would be easier for me.
op-ed
5 min read
Nettleship v. Weston
In the eyes of the law, it doesn’t care whether you’ve tried your best or not.
life
1 min read
Life as a Theatre
So, take centre-stage, dear friend. For life is a theatre, and there is no rehearsal.
life
3 min read
Locus of Control
An in-depth analysis into locus of control and how understanding it can help improve our lives.
life
5 min read
The Cost of Life
What exactly is happening to me?
life
4 min read
Perks of being a Wallflower
"He's a wallflower. You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand."
life
7 min read
9:34
God giveth, and God taketh away.
personalmental-health
13 min read
Blood, Sweat & Tears
But I thought, and I wish that there would be more.
personalmental-health
11 min read
3:17 AM
What exactly is happening to me?
mental-health
4 min read
2019
A year so momentous they named it twice.
personalmental-health
3 min read
Deja Vu
This long pursuit for this 'person', whoever it is that befits my vague characteristics that even I didn't quite understand, felt like a lost cause.
personalrelationships
9 min read
Self Acceptance
Self-acceptance and self-love is one of those things that are easier said than done.
life
2 min read
137 Words
Be a man of your own words. Keep struggling, and emerge.
personal
7 min read
Unravelling
I always wondered what is it in me that’s even worthy of being looked up to?
personal
4 min read
Home
Home, is where the heart lies. So they say.
personal
7 min read
Dilemma
Lift the brakes and push the gas, Ray. For you have chosen a path in the intersection.
personal
6 min read
Rayverse
The idea of parallel universe somehow makes me reflect back and help me realise the consequences of my own actions, learnt from them, and never to rescind.
personal
5 min read
Sinetron
I'll always remember you, old friend.
personal
12 min read
2018
A year so momentous they named it twice.
personalmental-health
2 min read
Envy
Success is much sweeter if you can achieve them together with your friends.
personal
8 min read
1 Month: Crossroads
Have faith, Ray. For time will tell whether we can.
personal
10 min read
Syukur
Thank you Allah, for introducing me to my new best friend
personalrelationships
5 min read
A New Journey
Now, I mark my new journey as an undergrad with new friends, new environment and a whole new beginning.
personalrelationships
9 min read
Toxic Masculinity
Because trust me, toxic masculinity hurts everyone.
personal
7 min read
Closure
Ending my rollercoaster PASUM life in a good note.
personal
4 min read
People Leave, But do They Return?
Is there hope for reconciliation?
relationships
6 min read
Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other?
Finding the answer to a question that seems to have no answers.
relationships
13 min read
Search complete: not a single thought in sight.
Ray, is that you?
Type the password and come on in.
